Communists to the Left of Me, Capitalists to the Right

I used to write poetry until I grew tired of the sound of my own whining voice. Well that's not actually the truth. I didn't whine too much in my poetry it was just too love struck and self reflective. Then I tried this blogging business, but even that's become too self reflective in recent posts. Before I make myself ill I think I'll try out a subject other than myself once again. And not New York either - New York has grown tired and rests pitifully in my bottom drawer waiting for me to have a fresh thought about it. Let's talk politics for a second. I understand most politics and governmental systems on a basic level and on a philosophic level, but when put into practice they tend to get a little frustrating for me and drive me towards a desire to pull my hair out.You see, I've been reading Capitalism in Crisis and other than impressing upon me just how many doctors Cuba has produced, this rambling piece of Castro's conversation with himself and his yes-men has served to make me wonder further about communism in practice. Guevara writes so much more passionately and clearly than Castro and yet it was Castro the people followed, Castro the people allowed into their farms and living rooms to lead them- no matter how much some of them regretted it later. Now before you start accusing me of bending my branches toward the right I've always been relatively left of center and had an idealistic hope that communism will prove itself to the world once and for all. But, honestly- take a look at the examples we have of communism. Russia, Cuba, Venezuela. Apart from the last one the examples are kind of abysmal. I mean-yes Cuba is working in a sense, but Castro made himself president for life effectively removing choice from the people, and Russia- things are so hopelessly corrupt in Russia you can't even get through the airport without spending hundreds of dollars in bribes. Venezuela seems to be moving forward, but I'm almost certain the US will do everything in their power to crush that just as they crushed Guatemala- over and over again until it couldn't stand on its own.Now those of you who know more than me about communism can perhaps explain this to me so that I will again see the light at the end of the tunnel, because seriously I've lost the energy to defend it against my objectivist friends who insist "at least capitalism works and the impoverished under capitalism are far better off than the impoverished under communism or any other style of government". I mean, in many ways I disagree with them, but I'm really getting weary of them throwing actual examples of failed or semi-failed communism in my face. To me communism seems to work best when it is genuinely in the hands of the people, such as in the Paris commune, which- I think- was actually closer to anarchy, or in any number of the small communal businesses/towns that have popped up in various places at various times in history before they were crushed by- well- the capitalist will. So why is it that communism appears, inevitably, to end up in the hands of few and seems to fail the people in so many ways? Why is it that a system with such hope can't seem to get itself to work the way it ought? Seriously, if you have an explanation- send it my way. I'm feeling frustrated with politics these days and I need to hear from someone who still has the energy to defend their beliefs, because I'm losing my idealism and my firmness of footing, and honestly, that's what keeps me keeps me moving when all else is failing me. I guess as it turns out, even I have to be able to keep my faith in something.